How to Choose a Pillow for Your Sleep Position
Match pillow height to your usual sleep position, then test and adjust it on your own mattress for a comfortable fit.
Choose a pillow that fills the space between your head and your mattress without tipping your head noticeably up or down. Start higher for side sleeping, medium for back sleeping, or thinner for stomach sleeping, and adjust from there.
Three things to remember
- Loft is pillow height; firmness is resistance to pressure.
- Your usual sleep position is a starting point, not a rule.
- Check the fit on your own mattress after the fill settles.
A pillow can look just right on the bed and feel quite different under your head. The mattress matters, as does the way the pillow compresses. If you move between positions at night, you'll also want to check the fit in each one.
Start with pillow height
Your sleep position changes the space the pillow needs to fill. On your side, your shoulder generally holds your head farther from the mattress than it does when you're on your back.
These heights are starting points, not measurements you have to follow:
| Usual position | Starting loft | What to notice |
|---|---|---|
| Side | Higher | The pillow fills the space beside your head without pushing it upward. |
| Back | Medium | Your head doesn't feel propped too far forward. |
| Stomach | Lower | The pillow doesn't feel bulky under your face. |
| Combination | Adjustable or moderate | You can settle comfortably in more than one position. |
Loft and firmness aren't the same thing. A pillow's loft is its height, while firmness describes how much it resists pressure. Look at both once you're lying down, because the height you see before using a pillow may not be the height you feel.
If you sleep on your side
Place the pillow under your head, with your shoulder resting on the mattress. You're looking for enough height to fill the space beside your head without pushing it upward.
Your shoulder width plays a part, and so does the mattress. On a softer mattress, your shoulder may settle in more deeply, leaving less space to fill than it would on a firmer bed.
If it's practical, use a mirror or ask someone to look from behind. Your head should look comfortably level rather than tilted noticeably toward the ceiling or down toward the mattress. Take a moment to settle before checking.
If you sleep on your back or stomach
For back sleeping, start with a medium-loft pillow and notice whether it fills the space beneath your head and neck without pushing your head forward.
Stomach sleepers can try a thinner pillow. Thing is, even a pillow that feels soft to the touch can seem bulky once your face is against it and your head is turned to the side. Check how much room it takes up when you're lying in that position, not just how it feels in your hands.
If you change positions during the night
Start with the position you use most often. Then roll into your other usual positions and see whether you can settle there, too. A pillow that feels just high enough on your side may feel too tall when you turn onto your back, so you may need a height that works reasonably well in both rather than perfectly in one.
An adjustable-fill pillow gives you room to experiment. Buckwheat hull pillows with removable fill are one option; memory foam has a different feel and conforms to the shape of your head and neck. Think about the texture and firmness you like as well as the height.
Test the pillow after it settles
Lie down on your own mattress and give the fill time to settle. Turns out, a quick squeeze in a store or a look at a pillow on the bed won't tell you how much height it keeps beneath your head.
A fluffy pillow may compress considerably. A firmer pillow may hold more of its height. Once you've settled in, notice what you do with it:
- Do you fold it or put an arm underneath to add height?
- Does it feel bulky when you move to another position?
- Do you keep pushing the fill around to get comfortable?
If the fill is adjustable, make small changes rather than removing or adding a lot at once. Keep any fill you remove in a clean, dry container, and follow the maker's instructions for storage.
Give your setup a fair try
There's no strict schedule for comparing settings. You might use a few nights or several weeks, but you don't need to stick with a setup that feels uncomfortable while you wait.
- Lie in your usual position. Give the pillow time to settle, then notice how it feels.
- Change one thing at a time. If you can adjust the fill, add or remove a little and check the height again.
- Roll into your other positions. Make sure the setting feels comfortable as you move between the positions you commonly use.
- Keep the setting you prefer. If your pillow comes with a trial, check the terms early so you know how a return works.
The LilyPillow buckwheat hull pillow is one adjustable-fill option with a 30-night trial. If you're considering it, review the trial terms before deciding how long to test a setting.
Pillow fitting questions
How can I tell if my pillow is too high?
Lie in your usual position and feel whether the pillow pushes your head upward. If you're on your side, someone looking from behind can also check whether your head tilts toward the ceiling.
What if my pillow feels different on another bed?
Check its height again on that mattress. Your shoulder may settle more deeply or less deeply than it does on your usual bed, which changes the space the pillow needs to fill.
Should my shoulder rest on the pillow?
For a side-position fit check, keep your shoulder on the mattress and put the pillow beneath your head. That makes it easier to see whether the pillow fills the space beside your shoulder.
The bottom line
Tonight, lie on your usual mattress and let your pillow settle. If it feels too high or too low, make one small adjustment, then try it in each position you commonly use.